16 Comments
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Wabi Sabi's avatar

Hell yeah! This is why I love going to Meetup events where I don't know anyone. Honestly easier than meeting up with existing friends when I'm in a certain tired-but-want-to-get-out-of-the-house mood, precisely because there are no expectations on me at all.

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Erin's avatar
7dEdited

Love your writing, and always find your thinking so perceptive and clarifying. I think a long time ago you shared a kind of guide to how you approach writing that was meant to be the first in a potential series. If you have any interest in following up on that, I would be eager to read!

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Clare Coffey's avatar

Why do we not ask if the hired hands had bad vibes. Or were simply unpleasant to be around

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BDM's avatar

per the guy, they had paid everybody at the start of the journey, hence why they were not allowed to leave. But I also imagine it had to do with discouraging others from leaving.

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MG's avatar

Something to bring up to HR next time they ask if anyone has ideas for raising morale

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D. Luscinius's avatar

The one time I was in Oregon, I ended up going to McDonald’s breakfast with a guy who was begging. It was little awkward, because he insisted on bringing his bike into the store. I remember he got the big breakfast with hotcakes and he cut them into very careful squares, all while telling me about the states he lived in and his different children. Very nice man, but he savored his meal so much that I had to leave before he finished!

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BDM's avatar

how many states had he lived in??

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D. Luscinius's avatar

Can’t recall the number, but it was all over the south, and a bit of time in Detroit.

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henry sholar's avatar

when i moved to eugene in June '08, and went to the Saturday Market the very first time, i chatted with some guy about the weather, and he was a grad student, int'l relations i think. said whatever dreary pacific northwest impressions i had could be dispensed with. he said very very rarely does the sun not shine at least part of the day here. he was right, and i've never forgotten that brief talk with that stranger. it gave me a very optimistic boost about life, to boot. Today Eugene's high temp = 101 F. Stay cool if you're still here.

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BDM's avatar

I'm here for about another week, then I get to return to Michigan (and its nicer weather). I did go to the Saturday Market a couple times but the thing I've liked most here is the Smith Family Bookstore!

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henry sholar's avatar

same! (and black sun, and tsunami, and, J michael's)

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David Dodd's avatar

I didn't do a lot of hitchhiking when I was younger, but the little I did was amazing in terms of leading to great conversations. I think because there's the added pressure of having brought another person into what is not a public space. I hardly ever remember conversations from buses or plains, but I still remember most of my hitchhiking stories, and a few of those belonging to my friends as well.

I suspect that having so many of our social interactions mediated by money has impaired the full development of our conversational skills. In a society where you actually need to persuade people to do you favors, being able to make them feel good about helping you is a pretty basic life skill.

This would account for a notable difference between the culture of Britain and its former colony, Ireland.

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BDM's avatar

I feel sort of deprived of hitchhiking.… I feel like I would have been good at it.

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David Dodd's avatar

Like clowns, hitchhiking is one of those things that was ruined by horror movies and serial killers, but was actually kind of amazing when it was a common feature of life.

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Pam B's avatar

My mother is the type of person who would end up telling you that her grandfather killed ranch hands and left them in the desert. At a restaurant this past weekend, she struck up conversation with the couple next to us and wound up telling them all about our relatives who live in The Huge Major City where they were originally from. No, there is no way they would have known them.

It is exhausting to sit quietly at the dinner table while she engages with others. There is a difference between "that entree looks great, can I ask what it is?" or "I love your outfit" and carrying on a completely different conversation. It's enough to make you want to eat at home.

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BDM's avatar

hahaha. Yeah it's important to be able to read the moods of others with these things. I am not usually so chatty if somebody else is with me.

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