I actually love posts like this because it allows me to humblebrag about the relationship I'm in with a weirdo who's weirdnesses fit mine well. That line from Rent about "looking for baggage that goes with mine".
"you will never date the aggregate person. You will only date people. You are only ever going to be romantically involved with individuals." watch out! it may be a short step from this to Margaret Thatcher's 'no such thing as society'
When I used to watch a lot of comedians on TV in the '90s, the "problem with men/women" was a big theme in a lot of sets. It struck me that it had a lot to do with the anxiety involved with dating, that there can be a whole bunch of reasons why you ought to get along with a person, and then you just don't hit it off.
For anyone who hasn't found a relationship that they're happy in, overbroad generalizations about what's wrong with the gender you're attracted to aref likely to be really funny, because there's a good chance that it's something that has turned off a lot of other people. Not to mention the humor involved in something that is weirdly specific, yet really does irritate lots of people for inexplicable reasons.
It's worth remembering that a major theme of the Odyssey is how it's hard for a man to find a good woman, just as a major theme of the Iliad is how your boss can fail to recognize how much you contribute to your job. Trouble with employers and potential spouses are themes that never get old.
Maybe "read a menu" means "not having to pull out your phone to google" ingredients, a behavior that I am always a little sheepish about exhibiting on dates, but I need to know what a boquerone is!!
but also to relate this to romance--I experience a big disconnect from readers who want a character in the book to be Their Boyfriend, and judge the quality of a book based on the ability or interest in having that man be a real life partner. It feels related to this kind of discourse!
If authors are writing to the aggregate, everyone is a faceless blob of projection and romance becomes the manifestation of the moral panic about women exclusively using to escape for their reality with self-inserts, instead, you know, because they like reading novels.
this is a wise thesis: "Up close, all people are weird." This is true about many human relationships -- individuals always find ways to defy our instinct to categorize. People are messy, and, when we get to the heart of things, we find it's the mess that we love.
No picnics are revolting. A big crusty hoagie wrapped in greasy paper and a little bottle of wine produced from the backpack after a day walking? Lovely. But add another person and you’ve got a picnic on your hands. And picnics are revolting.
a basic, widespread, whatever kind of trend that actually does make me laugh is when a woman posts about having the ick and all the comments are really lighthearted still but they're just "are you sure you aren't a lesbian?" --like, not a bad question i guess
Yeah I think what tips you toward one person or another, in absence of actually knowing them, can be pretty arbitrary and is often something physical, because you don't have much else to go on. But even there, people's vague physical preferences can be idiosyncratic and what matters a lot to one person may not matter at all to another.
re, the rats: I fear it may already be too late… I think they're coordinating… our only hope is to arm the mice.
I actually love posts like this because it allows me to humblebrag about the relationship I'm in with a weirdo who's weirdnesses fit mine well. That line from Rent about "looking for baggage that goes with mine".
"you will never date the aggregate person. You will only date people. You are only ever going to be romantically involved with individuals." watch out! it may be a short step from this to Margaret Thatcher's 'no such thing as society'
this is true and it made me happy
When I used to watch a lot of comedians on TV in the '90s, the "problem with men/women" was a big theme in a lot of sets. It struck me that it had a lot to do with the anxiety involved with dating, that there can be a whole bunch of reasons why you ought to get along with a person, and then you just don't hit it off.
For anyone who hasn't found a relationship that they're happy in, overbroad generalizations about what's wrong with the gender you're attracted to aref likely to be really funny, because there's a good chance that it's something that has turned off a lot of other people. Not to mention the humor involved in something that is weirdly specific, yet really does irritate lots of people for inexplicable reasons.
It's worth remembering that a major theme of the Odyssey is how it's hard for a man to find a good woman, just as a major theme of the Iliad is how your boss can fail to recognize how much you contribute to your job. Trouble with employers and potential spouses are themes that never get old.
Maybe "read a menu" means "not having to pull out your phone to google" ingredients, a behavior that I am always a little sheepish about exhibiting on dates, but I need to know what a boquerone is!!
but also to relate this to romance--I experience a big disconnect from readers who want a character in the book to be Their Boyfriend, and judge the quality of a book based on the ability or interest in having that man be a real life partner. It feels related to this kind of discourse!
If authors are writing to the aggregate, everyone is a faceless blob of projection and romance becomes the manifestation of the moral panic about women exclusively using to escape for their reality with self-inserts, instead, you know, because they like reading novels.
this is a wise thesis: "Up close, all people are weird." This is true about many human relationships -- individuals always find ways to defy our instinct to categorize. People are messy, and, when we get to the heart of things, we find it's the mess that we love.
If you ask me on a hiking date you better have a little brindle pony to carry me up that mountain
and a nice picnic spread for when we get up there
No picnics are revolting. A big crusty hoagie wrapped in greasy paper and a little bottle of wine produced from the backpack after a day walking? Lovely. But add another person and you’ve got a picnic on your hands. And picnics are revolting.
What you should really do is build a pub on top of the mountain, THEN get the pony, THEN ask out. But men don’t plan dates anymore.
i needed this
a basic, widespread, whatever kind of trend that actually does make me laugh is when a woman posts about having the ick and all the comments are really lighthearted still but they're just "are you sure you aren't a lesbian?" --like, not a bad question i guess
always worth a check
You buried the lede about the super intelligent rat takeover. How long do we have?
You are quite right about the specific person vs. the aggregate. Although I did fall for my wife instantly because she was a "type," physically.
Yeah I think what tips you toward one person or another, in absence of actually knowing them, can be pretty arbitrary and is often something physical, because you don't have much else to go on. But even there, people's vague physical preferences can be idiosyncratic and what matters a lot to one person may not matter at all to another.
re, the rats: I fear it may already be too late… I think they're coordinating… our only hope is to arm the mice.
SWM looking for super intelligent rat to share Diet Coke–based lifestyle